I feel like I’m walking around with a broken leg. 

But instead of a cast, I’m hiding the break under my jeans, trying not to limp so no one will notice. 

My crutches that became too painful and caused more harm than good, have been in storage for over a year now, and I refuse to take them out. 

It hurts to hide it. 

Part of me feels that I deserve to walk on the pain, that because of who I am, I don’t deserve to lean on anyone else anymore. 

Part of me knows I will eventually lose the strength to keep going. 

I am scared for that day, and I mourn for the people who I will cause pain. 

I may not deserve better, but they do.

But I will try and hide the grimace on my face, I will try and walk straight. 

And when I can’t take another step, I hope they will forgive me.