I talk a lot about hope in this blog.

Here’s what I’ve been hoping lately.

I hope you get scammed on Facebook marketplace.

I hope you never own a car that’s not a piece of shit.

I hope the next time you go to give a cop the card inside your glove box, my hair bands fall out and he searches your car.

I hope you never leave “up” from the casino, and if you do you lose all of it that day.

I hope you’re never able to hear a Kanye West song without thinking of me.

I hope no one ever notices the little things about you.

I hope you get banned from your favorite bars.

I hope all of your whales start to grind this summer one by one until you can only have one rider at a time.

I hope you always have a white streak under your nose after going to the bathroom and never realize it.

I hope every stupid pick up line you try and give a woman falls flat every time.

I hope you get drug tested for your ID the next time you travel to the fair.

I hope your posture continues to get worse.

I hope people make fun of you for the bald spot on the back of your head behind your back.

I hope you never forgive yourself for pretending to be someone else in high school.

I hope you never have real friends, only “associates”.

I hope you break your ankle again.

I hope your nose never clears up.

I hope I never see you again a day in my life.

I hope everyone you think is loyal to you shows their true colors at the worst possible moment.

I hope you keep having your mom do your adulting for you and you never learn to grow up.

I hope your lose your headphones everytime you buy a new pair.

I hope you can never smell your own bad breath.

I hope it always pours when your windshield wipers need to be changed.

I hope you are ignored everytime you seek attention from a stranger.

I hope everything is never better than “alright”.

I hope you can’t watch basketball ever again.

I hope your brother gets the fuck away from you and your family.

I hope you never get the balls to cover up that tattoo.

I hope you always have the fashion sense of an NPC.

I hope you become a spitting image, inside and out, of your father.

I hope the stress that you used as a reason to degrade and disrespect me, gets worse every morning you wake up, and you never find true peace.

I hope the only friend you have, sees you for the low life you are and leaves you behind to live a better life.

I hope the people you use for your own gain never die because of your inability to care that your “job” kills people.

I hope the memories of you screaming at a woman who loved you haunt you until the day you die.

I hope you can still feel that spit on your face.

I hope I heal from every wound you left and the scars fade to nothing.

I hope you get what you deserve.